sharing in His sufferings

I'm not sure if I've ever watched someone determined to walk away from God since I've been a Christian. Yes, I've seen people get sidetracked. I've gotten sidetracked. I start down a road that isn't where I'm supposed to be and I wander for a while. Pretty soon, the surroundings are a little too unfamiliar and I start to get scared; so I turn around. That happens to us all. But I ran into someone last night. And for the moment; she is finished with God. There was nothing I could do or say that was going to change her mind. She's done. She didn't even want to talk about any other options. So I hung out for a while, trying to make small talk; and pray that she would come to her senses. But nothing. And I left. And I left crying. I was crying for her. She has no clue right now. She's sick. And that made me so sad. I was crying for her family that will have to suffer through with her at the moment. But mostly, I was crying for Jesus. He's already done so much for her. (for all of us) that He needn't do anything else for the rest of our lives; and that would STILL be ample reason to follow Him. But I know this woman. And I know God has done much more than send His son for her. She's blessed. She's been blessed. And I just don't understand. But she's a grown woman. With free will. And she is choosing to exercise that free will at the moment. And there is nothing anyone can do to change her mind. But pray. And so I pray. And I cry. And I fellowship in God's sufferings. Can you imagine? God. Who has given us EVERYTHING and is being betrayed once again. Not by an enemy; but His daughter. His princess; His family. You've heard the expression, "pouring salt in the wounds?" I can't help but picture Jesus coming out of the grave, and us standing there with a carton of salt. And rubbing into those fresh wounds. I want to be sure this post doesn't sound like I'm angry with my friend. I'm not. I'm sad for her and her situation. I will continue to pray for her and her family. More than anything; I was sad for God. And feeling His pain. Or rather a portion of it. I don't think there is any way I could possibly feel ALL His pain. The killer is as I am writing this; I know that I too have stood outside his grave to pour salt in His wounds. And that is what hurts the most.