Not my will but yours

That's a tough prayer. Not my will but yours. I don't know if I can say it. Sure, I can say it, but meaning it, well that's another story. So yesterday the judge declared baby Anthony adoptable. Not good news for me. We won't be ready to consider adopting him untill November. And IF the state gets on it (I know that's a big if), he could already be adopted by then.

Then to top it off, Steve emails and tells me that his work is totally on board with paying the difference of what we owe and what we can sell our house for in this market. Good news. I guess. Yes, we are closer to getting to India. But with every step towards India, it's one more away from here. My hopes. My secret dreams of raising my family (with Anthony included) down the street from Aunt Saunna in hillbilly town Lathrop Missouri. With a little acreage. And a pool.

But not my will but yours. It's a tough one. I think I'll start with "Convince me of not my will but yours." And that's where I'll start.

Pray for me guys. I'm missing Steve. And feeling sorry for myself in a classic Melissa-style. Thank God school, YMCA, and football are keeping me too busy to curl up and cry.