When am I old enough to "go with a girl?"

Asked Steven this morning.

UH never.

But since I didn't think that was going to work, I told him I would talk to his father and we would have a discussion tonight.

Now I know this is very individualized and each parent has to muddle through this kind of thing on their own. But this is what we said:

We would like for you to read the next series in the Dr. Dobson books that we've purchased for you. (they start w/ how boys and girls are different, then to where babies come from, how your body is changing, and purity) The purity is the last in the series and it's written for a 13 year old boy. So we've asked that he not "date" a girl until after he reads that book. Of course, we know he may still be going with someone, but we're hoping at least to express our concerns and reasons for wanting him to wait. Our reasons?

1. Self Esteem. It's so hard for kids at this age to like themselves anyways. Why would we add to that boys and girls breaking up to "go with" a different boy or girl for no other reason than they wanted to?

2. Setting the stage. We've decided to allow dating at the age of 16 ONLY if the girl meets certain criteria our sons have set for themselves. Why should you date someone just because they like you or visa verse? We have to have more substance than that for things to work out. So we don't want to start out one way only to teach when he is older in life that he should do things different.

3. Saving your heart and soul for the woman who you will be with for the rest of your life. And I'm not just talking about sex. But every time you are intimate with someone; you give a piece of your heart away. If our children start dating at the ripe old age of 16; by the time they are ready to be married; they have very little of their heart and soul to give. In a day and age where statistically speaking- very few will marry for life, why would we encourage any pattern that may contribute to that statistic?

We know we're not in control here. We know Steven (and Isaac when he is old enough) will do whatever it is he wants to do. But it's not going to be because he didn't know any better or never heard it from his parents.

So pray for us. We are entering the time in his little life where he will begin thinking less and less with his brain and more and more with his hormones. He's already feeling the peer pressure to have a girlfriend. And he's about to be thrown to the wolves as far as self esteem is concerned. I'm not ready. He's not ready. And it doesn't seem fair. We don't know what we are doing. We don't know how to respond. We're just doing the best we can here and praying a lot.

PS I wasn't looking for too much advice here. This a decision Steve and I have already made. But encouragement would be good if you have any. If not; consider this a place for me to vent. I'm too young for this!